i'm done with making excuses of why i'm not pursing my dream
my dream of becoming a mommy/ travel/ lifestyle/ politics/ faith/ craft/ race/ everything-in-between blogger. i've been dreaming of this since 2009, and i finally did start a blog four years ago when the girls and i were in asia- i just never really kept up with it.
i had my reasons for not keeping up with my blog:
- stresses of life.
- don't know how to grow a blog.
- don't have a professional camera with expensive lenses.
- don't have a cool blog design and layout.
- don't know how to use photoshop.
- can't decide what "type" of blogger i'd be.
- some of the Christian mom bloggers i stumbled upon talked about their "great desire" to be "obedient wives," and i had no interest in that.
- everyone else started their blogs years before me, and they were all soo professional looking.
- the girls are bigger now and i should have started when they were little.
- i should have started back again when nasi was born.
- i should have been blogging during all of our trips.
- i needed to live in reality and just get a masters degree and call it a day.
- maybe if i lived somewhere more exciting, more people would tune in.
- maybe my writing isn't good enough- i've never taken any formal writing class.
- time management.
the list could go on.
normally, i'm the "i don't take 'no' for an answer," "i will crush any obstacle in my way" type person who dreams crazy dreams and goes after them.
i'm pushy. i'm feisty. i'm a fighter.
i wasn't afraid to travel alone around se asia for nearly four months with toddlers- without a lot of money or a backup plan. i wasn't afraid to take a three hour bus ride with little ones from mexico city to michoacán, despite tales of dangerous drug cartels.
we hopped trains in europe for a few weeks, sometimes not knowing if we had a place to stay in our next city of arrival, and i was at peace! i flew home alone from argentina with the girls and a one month-old nasi without batting an eye. i welcome the unknown and rarely cling what is familiar; i thrive in uncharted waters.
i didn't fear donald trump enough to compromise and vote for hillary clinton. sure, go ahead and roll your eyes and call me reckless; i call myself informed.
there's something about this blog, though, that gives me a racing heart and sweaty palms- it's an almost paralyzing effect.
i honestly want to pursue it and believe that i have a strong voice that people want to hear, but then i come up with all of my excuses and bury the dream deep in my heart. this is so unlike me.
a few times a year, i'll have different people randomly ask me if i've ever considered blogging. then i'll get this short-lived surge of inspiration and tell myself that i'm doing it this time...but then i don't.
i'm done with making excuses; i will not live in the land of dreams deferred.
this weekend, ama started a blog and has been dedicated to writing on it everyday- she's inspired me to do the same. how can i encourage my children to go after their dreams, if i'm not going after mine?
i'm going to attend a conference for women travel bloggers this april, and i will glean all the wisdom that i can...
i still don't have an expensive camera with a fancy lens, and i still don't have a "cool" looking blog design. i don't know if this blog will ever take off and go anywhere beyond my friends reading it and the occasional share on facebook.
one thing i do know, though, is that i will stop making excusing for not going after this dream. i never like having regrets anyway...