yes, i breastfeed a toddler.

i'm nasty. 

i'm perverted. 

i'm addicted to endorphins. 

i should be ashamed of myself.  

i have heard all of these things because i breastfeed my toddler.

photo by ama. chiang mai, thailand. october 2013

i didn't grow up in a family where women really breastfed children much past six months -if they did at all- and was raised in a societal generation that encouraged formula feeding. 

i never intended to still be breastfeeding lili at two and a just happened. 

about eight years ago, a friend told me that she was going to breastfeed her daughter for at least a year- i thought that she was crazy! 

and look at me now...

i cannot think of a better connection that a mother can share with her child than breastfeeding. i remember putting ama on my breast minutes after she was born in complete awe; it was amazing to think that my breasts held the capability to nourish my child. there's something overwhelming about that gaze between a mother and child while he or she is sucking at the breast.

*this post was originally written, but never completed or published, december 2012 when we were still in malaysia.

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