Sometimes, You Just Have To Step Away

it’s okay to step away.


recently, I’ve had to step away from many things.

No, not eyebrow care (see photo)— those are just a hot mess on a regular basis.

One of the things I had to step away from was this blog, and I’m so glad that I did.

I know, I know. I’m way too unestablished of a blogger to decide that I need to take a four month break.

But I did it anyway.

I didn’t step away because I’m inconsistent, and I didn’t do it because of all my old reservations about blogging.

You see, this medium is no longer just about sharing life, truths, experiences and creativity like it once was; it’s not really focused around community and friendship building as in the past.

Blogging is now a business—one that I admittedly hope to become successful in.

And while it is my goal to make a living in this space, it still has to be a platform where I share my authentic self and write straight from the heart. I can’t merely provide “how to’s” for your next great vacation or pretend that I’m the best mom in the world—I’ve made it clear in the past that I am not a perfect mother.

Whatever that means.

Blogging has, in many ways, become so impersonal and I don’t particularly like it. I want you to know me and my children, and I want you to feel connected to our lives. I also want to know you and feel connected to your lives as well. I know that social media is a great way to establish this bond, but I also want my blog to feel like a real person is talking to you.

Because I am just that: a real person. Not just a brand, not someone simply writing posts for the sake of google search engine hits—though I get why it’s important—and not here to write information with no personal attachment.

I’ve been advised many times not to talk about politics, to definitely not talk about radical politics and to not be too vulnerable. But the worse suggestion of all: “just give people what they want to hear.”

This is impossible for me to do.

Sorry, not sorry.

This blog has to be a space where I can be my authentic self, while also providing information and insight that others are looking for. Every time I’ve trusted my heart and wrote about something that was dear to me, I’ve received messages stating how my words moved others to tears.

I also have many individuals who write, telling me to continue speaking truth and challenging others to think outside the box.

This feedback confirmed I have a real message that others are looking for, and I needed a break to process all the well-meaning advice that was swirling around my head.

I needed to take a break from the pressure, the expectations and stress of wondering if I was producing the “right” content for my audience. I don’t even want to think of any of you as my “audience” but rather as my community.

I needed time to clear my spirit to be sure that I knew the direction I wanted to take this blog.

I just had to step away.

I stepped away to process what blogging means to me; I had to step away to make sure that this blog belonged to me.
— Iliah, Negra Bohmenian

i also had to step away from commitments that were draining my time.

I needed space to sit back and evaluate areas in my life that were sucking time and energy away from me, and keeping me from pursing my truths and dreams.

Some of these things were easy to let go of, others were difficult.

Some of these meant walking away from extra income and that was hard to do—it’s not easy to let go of comforts and security to trust in one’s own journey.

I had to relieve myself of responsibilities that did not belong to me, and I didn’t feel bad about it.

Many people did not understand why I had to let go of some of the things that I did, but I have learned to trust my heart and the Spirit’s guiding, and to drown out accusing voices.

sometimes, you just have to step away.


give yourself permission to step away.

It can be difficult to give oneself permission to drop baggage that may be holding one down. It takes practice to learn how to let go in a healthy manner—so be kind to yourself. Everyone is on their own journeys of personal growth, and it’s important to express gratitude in all triumphs—the large and the small. Every move one makes toward allowing oneself to step away from unnecessary stumbling blocks, is a step toward wholeness.

Step away from toxic relationships. 

Step away from busyness.

Step away from dysfunctional family dynamics.

Step away from hinderances.

Step away from unnecessary pressures for the sake of mental and physical health. 

Step away from the material things that are causing  you to be a slave, rather than allowing you to be free.

Step away from the pressure and expectations of what you were told success is. 

Step away from what’s keeping you from giving your children your all. 

Step away from what you thought you always wanted.

Step away in order to find out what you truly want.

Step away from what you already know you don’t want.

Step away from the inability to say no.

Step away from the inability to say yes.

Step away from doubts.

Step away from unnecessary debates and conflicts.

Step away to find peace of mind. 

sometimes, you just have to step away.

And that’s okay.

What have you had to step away from?

What do you need to step away from?


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